Baby Bottle With Bullet
Rep. Reagan Paul's weird on-line store(s) & City of Portland responds to "Sweetheart Deal for Turning Point USA" in previous Crash Report.
An observant reader had a question about the Feb. 26 Crash Report End Times Cult to Stage Revival at Portland Expo during which I explain that at least four Maine lawmakers belong to a Young Earth End Times cult eager to experience the Last of Days via the execution of the Christian-Nationalist “Seven Mountains Mandate.”
The excerpt in question:
“Civil government is meant to be God’s avenging angel of righteousness,” state Rep. Reagan Paul insisted. “Civil government is a minister of God. Running for office or serving in government is no less spiritual than being a pastor or raising a family or building a business.”
Yeah. Okay. Says the woman who was selling baby-bottles with bullets in her on-line emporium.
“The Biblical purpose of government is to reward good and punish evil,” the state rep explained. “But how can civil government restrain evil when Christians refuse to participate?”
Also, apparently, Paul is an armchair theologian with the ability to label heresy when she sees it. “Churches staying OUT of government is wrong and heresy,” she said . Also, she rejects “the faulty notion there should be a separation between church and state.”
However, it was the snippet above that brought the question, “Who was selling baby-bottles with bullets in her online emporium?”
Wut?
Oops. I had intended to post photos (below) from Reagan Paul’s online store she shut down in late 2023, a year after getting elected to the Legislature. During my reporting on the Young Earth Christians, I kept thinking how un-serious (and un-scientific) these knuckleheads actually are. And, in the case of Rep. Paul, how she could go from selling “baby bottles with bullets” in her “Adorable Deplorable” online store to becoming the #1 legislative expert/booster of nuclear power for Maine.
The aforementioned 8-ounce baby bottle is embedded with a .308 caliber solid copper bullet. (Handwash only!) Rep. Paul promised buyers the baby bottle contained “no gunpowder and no lead; completely safe to drink from.” Apparently, though, her product had some serious flaws, according to dissatisfied customers who bought the bottle with bullets from her “Adorable Deplorable” store.
Also, Rep. Paul wasn’t offering refunds for leaky Baby Bottle(s) with Bullet. According to her “Adorable Deplorable” store policy: EXCHANGES ONLY.
Yikes. Also for sale is what can only be described as a “faux” plate carrier, though Paul calls it a “Tactical Baby Bib.” Not to read too much into this, but Paul’s cult’s End Times scenario does involve some serious fighting in areas where the “Desert Tan” would act as cammo.
While the baby bottle is a dumb product, the “Tactical Baby Bib” aka “a bullet proof vest” is potentially dangerous by giving the BABY a false sense of security. Obviously, that thing ain’t tactical and it’s not gonna withstand any sort of projectile. Let’s hope the chud babymommas heed Rep. Paul’s warning: DO NOT MICROWAVE the Baby Bottle with Bullet. And handwash only.
Frugal shoppers got a good deal — at 99 bucks — for the Tactical Baby Griftbox which includes the baby bottle with bullet, the tactical baby bib, a .45 caliber air freshener, plus a camouflage onesie and a camouflage New International Version Bible, along with an emergency diaper, a pocket-size Constitution, the Jesus Storybook Bible, the booklet “Your Duties as a Christian Citizen,” plus three “Jesus films on DVD“ and a rubber ducky (made in China) wearing an archaic battle helmet carrying a rifle with bayonet.
I don’t have kids, so I don’t understand the appeal of these weirdo gifts. Unless, however, it’s the way Christian-Nationalist parents prepare their children for war.
Details of the corporate history of Rep. Paul’s online ventures are scattered, but thanks to the Wayback Machine, legislative filings and other corners of the web, I’ve been able to establish the following: All Paul’s self-employment ventures apparently fall under her American Truck Gifts LLC, registered with Maine’s Secretary of State since Dec. 2017. I haven’t been able to find the American Truck store because it’s been long disappeared. However, web archives show that the merchandise listings got forwarded to American Heritage Gifts.
Also, her “Adorable Deplorable” online shoppe eventually morphed into a store called futurepatriotsofamerica.com. You can check a screen-saved version out below and be sure to note the store’s motto was “★PROUDLY CLINGING TO GOD AND OUR GUNS ★”
(Note, the webpages below are from the Wayback Machine via archive.org, so image links are broken.)
By 2023, though, Rep. Paul shut the Future Patriots store down and shifted leftover merch to her www.americanheritagegifts.com. Then it appears that sometime in late 2024, she removed the product listings. The store is currently not carrying any merch, but the following credo can be found wherever you can find their web presence.
“Here at American Heritage Gifts, we have no doubt that America’s Judeo-Christian founding principles and values are what made our republic great. We have confidence in the indispensable supports of religion and morality. We believe as our Founders did, that only a virtuous people are capable of freedom. Thomas Jefferson counseled, “Virtue is not hereditary.” Virtue has to be earned and it has to be learned. Neither is virtue a permanent quality in human nature. It has to be cultivated continually and exercised from hour to hour and from day to day.”
Sounds like someone is covering up some non-virtuous behavior. Perhaps some sin lurks within the confines of “American Heritage Gifts” corporate headquarters?
Speaking of sin, Rep. Paul’s new IRL boyfriend — and Maine Senate Minority Leader Harold “Trey” Stewart will be the featured speaker at the March 19 at the TPUSA-Faith meeting at Calvary Chapel Portland. This will be his second visit to the Young Earth cult’s church — located in a Westbrook industrial park — in as many months. He attended Rep. Paul’s speech to the same local TPUSA group back in late January.
City Responds to Sweetheart Deal Claim
Portland City Spokesperson Jessica Grondin emailed me after the March 8 Crash Report re: Turning Point USA allegedly getting special treatment from the Portland Expo manager was published, claiming that the TPUSA event contract was for an “exhibit” not an “assembly.”
Not sure what dictionary they use in Portland City Hall, but the standard definition for “exhibit” is “public display (a work of art or item of interest) in an art gallery or museum or at a trade fair.” As for “assembly” the standard definition is “a group of people gathered together in one place for a common purpose.” And Merriam-Webster goes even further by saying an assembly is “a company of persons gathered for deliberation and legislation, worship, or entertainment.”
Here’s Grondin’s explainer: “We have two fee structures -- an ‘exhibit’ rental fee and an ‘assembly’ rental fee. Assembly rentals are for large scale concerts. You stated the assembly rental fee and not the exhibit rental, which is what they were charged at for the type of event they are hosting. I think it’s worth pointing out that you are not comparing apples to apples when it comes to the fee structure. Between the two rate sheets you have - we charged the newer and higher fee for Exhibit rentals. The $2720 is comparative to the older $2585 fee on the sheet you found online.”
My response: “The TPUSA is set up like a concert, with music, has people on stage praying and singing, plus political speeches. How does that qualify as an ‘exhibit?’ Is there a list of qualifiers delineating the difference between an exhibit and assembly? Who makes that decision?”
As of this evening, no response.
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Bait and Switch
Also, Grondin references “the sheet you found online,” while neglecting to note that the numbers I used had been posted on Portland’s own official website UNTIL this afternoon (3.10.26) when the city took down the rental information page I cited and replaced it with the above “Exhibit Rate Schedule.”
This doesn’t change the undeniable fact that Calvary Chapel signed the original contract with the city for a 400-person assembly, and now Erika Kirk’s well-funded traveling End Times circus is getting “exhibit” rates for their racist revival, with the potential of over two thousand people showing up to listen to their Islamophobic, homophobic, misogynist rhetoric targeting our Somali neighbors, LGBTQ folks and women. Also, the question remains: which city employee quelled dissent in the Expo’s offices re: TPUSA?
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Keep up the great work. I should check Kalshi to see if anyone has a line on the City of Portland cancelling these "assemblies" and "exhibitions" prior to May 15th.